Will you be there?

I wish I knew
I wish I’d known
I’d have held your hand
Held your heart
Told you things
Made you safe
But I didn’t know
I couldn’t know
So let me tell you now…

I loved you
You loved me
I have a cool
Family
I found a man
As nice as you
I’m all grown up
My girl is 2
She’d tell you that
If you were here
Stand on her toes
She has no fear
You would say
How old are you?
And she would giggle
I’m only 2
My eldest boy
He’s nearly 7
He doesn’t know
That you’re in heaven
But he would say
She’s turning 3
She has a birthday
Just like me
What will you buy me?
Will it be great?
Will you give me something?
When I turn 8
You’d like them Dad
I did good
Just like you told me
That I should
I’ve missed you lots
And moved on too
But there’s one thing
I need you to do…

Will you be there Dad?
I’m worried about Mum
Will you meet her Dad?
When it’s time to come
Will you hold her hand?
Tell her she’s alright?
Will you watch her Dad?
When she sleeps at night
She seems so old
It snuck up on us
I don’t want to make
A “Caroline fuss”
I just need to know
She won’t be alone
When it’s time for Mum
To
Come
Back
Home

CStorie 2015

Give yourself a break for Spring Break - make things easy, easy, easy.

Something that strikes me a lot since being a parent is how much we "do" these days. I wasn't brought up with this idea of celebrating EVERYTHING - birthdays fine - Easter & Christmas yes - but they lasted a DAY, and I could count the number of gifts on one hand. Things have exploded for the traditional celebrations and we have added more for good measure, a gift for everything, an event every day - it is EXHAUSTING for me & exhausting for them. Does every day need to be a party? Do we need to blow our kids minds with fun and frolics all the time? It feels like we do - I have a noisy boy whose brain is simply blown by the world as it is, I don't need to add stimulus and yet I seem to spend much of my time battling it away or holding contact from his eyes and getting him to breathe. The world is busy, the world is loud and the world is blowing our kids minds. But the world already did that. The world did that when the seasons came, when the fish swam, when the spider caught a bug in it's web. The world already did that when the thunder struck, the seeds grew and puddles splashed their legs. The world was already a party for our kids when it was simple, simple, simple why do we constantly feel that we need to do more, more, more?

And BREATHE ...

I am terrible for wanting to be everywhere doing everything. If I get a call to go somewhere I want to do it. If there is something exciting happening - I want to be there. Only problem being that actually being still and home is the very best tonic for my wonky times and moods. I have found this mantra to be my calmtra - if ever I feel I am missing out or getting the cranks because I can't get on with things as I would like. This phrase calms down the shallow breaths and makes me realize that rushing about is fruitless - I am where I need to be right now - doing the very thing I need to be doing.