July - is all about the brown stuff hitting the fan

Look at that, you’ve made it over half way through the process. Well done guys! See it wasn’t as hard as you thought it was going to be, hey? You had a greater sense of yourself and what you needed than you thought, I’ll bet. Maybe, dare I say, you had more talent than you expected and look you found new and old friends who get it, who get you, who support you and all you are trying to do. The universe has shown itself to be quite magical sometimes, hasn’t it? Opened up doors you never knew existed…or that the “likes of you” could have ever been a part of. Isn’t that great…isn’t that amazing, isn’t this everything.

And guess what!

Just at that moment, that very moment where you start to relax in the moment…feel a stronger sense than ever before that you really have got this…a determination and an energy for something that makes your brain sing and your heart swell…don’t things just start to go all bloody wonky again. WTH!

It can look like anything.

Life throws you a curve ball like never before.
That thing on the thing suddenly isn’t working out like you thought it would.
That surety turned out to be not quite so.
That razzle/dazzle you were enjoying has now gone and lost some of it’s shine.

Sometimes this wonky can come from within – you might be stirring up some stuff inside you that just has to come out.
Sometimes it comes from our outside – a relationship, a health, a finance, a new situation.

I don’t know what the “thing” is for you, but I do know for sure that this happens.
This happens to everyone.
This is infact as much a part of the process as the good stuff.
This just is.
This is what life is too.

The other thing I know for sure is this isn’t because of you, it is just what is happening right now and it really, really sucks. All we can hope is of it’s passing as quickly as possible and our growth on the other side.

The good thing about this bit, is we get to have a little control over this bit.

1. We can help ourselves to understand when we are dealing with a something, with a now thing and when we are holding onto the something or the now thing. There is a difference and it is important we try to see when that line has been crossed.

2. We can work on dealing with the thing in it’s very own, abstract space and try to not let it rain too much into the stuff we can still hold as good.

3. We can hold our knowing that this shit happens to everyone not just us because of our laziness, unluckiness, uselessness or whatever our “beat ups” are.

4. We can do this by remembering our true sense of who we are still, separate from this “thing” that has come to unsteady us.

5. We can give up the blame and the guilt and the brain rambles with some of the things we have done with this project and the 2 before in this blog. (See I did prep us!)

6. And this one, my most favourite of favourites of all of these …we can keep our sense of humour of all things…because that truly can be the best medicine of all in the face of so much.

I am sincerely sorry to anyone right now who is experiencing their “down” time. I know mine will hilariously occur usually the day after I have confided in someone just how good things are. We CANNOT let this stop our celebrations though – these down times come – we can’t eliminate them by not looking at the good either. That just makes us grey. Our times of celebration’s will come back – that is another thing I definitely know!

Don’t give up on your projects if you can when these dips come. The dips mean you are still in the process, you are still on your path. Even if you need to totally scale down for a while, that is ok, just try to keep walking though. You will come to the other side of this.
The dips and the downs and the downright blown off course’s are always going to be there for us as they are, sadly, the process of life. Sometimes just knowing that can keep that croc at bay!

Always walking with you on this.
CX

June - is all about filling our well

Ahh this month is a really fun one – no dark emotional wranglings this time I promise.
See I can be fun Caz, well sometimes.
This month we get to think about playing and connecting with the things that make us all giddy and goosebumpy inside.
What turns you on creatively, what do you connect to, what is pulling you at the moment?

This isn’t indulgence over work – this is fuel for the work. We need to be thinking about this all year, but a month's focus will get you into good practice. You know me by now, I am not asking you to spend big money, travel to the ends of the earth (although I do have a travel bucket list) ..you can find these things that make you sing in your everydays or at least your weekends. Plan a workshop, a coffee with an acquaintance who inspires you, a new book – a library book. Even google “pretty blues” – it honestly doesn’t matter how big or how small – it just matters that you start the process and fill your well again…top it up regularly rather than letting it run dry with burn out.

So now I want to let you into a little Cazza secret, as it might help you with this practice, especially if you struggle with the guilt or the trap of too busy. I want to talk about birthdays.
Now stay with me.

Unless you have one of those extra special effort birthdays – adult birthdays can kind of suck.
DO you remember when you were a child and how special your birthday would feel?
Even if it was a school day it felt different – lighter – like everyone was a part of and in on your special day.
Fast forward (cough, splutter) how ever many years and it is impossible to capture that kind of childlike, birthday magic.
You probably still have appointments, responsibilities, work loads, deadlines and bills.
Life still chugs on and within that space you try to feel different, to feel lighter, but sometimes the push of “special” can make it even harder – this is my ONE day you say – shouldn't it feel more?

Hmmmm but what if it wasn’t your one day?
What if I gave you permission for another very special day in the year?
A day I like to call fake birthday day!
Birthdays can be whatever – but imagine how it would feel if you knew you had another special day tucked in your pocket still to come – what if you celebrated “Fake Birthday”?

Fake birthdays are amazing!
For one thing you get to choose the date – you can even decide last minute.
“Oh wait hang on it’s my fake birthday day”.
If you spy a day in the future that looks like it could have fake birthday potential simply declare it.
Now what makes a good fake birthday? Here are some of my tips.

I take a day that already looks pretty nice. Maybe I have some booked time alone somehow or have a little workshop planned. Something that is already in line with what I would love a nice birthday to look like.

I don’t really tell anyone (obviously – because it sounds mental) – but it is my little secret. I don't involve anyone too much as it really gives you the space to do what you want to do without any justification. Your real birthday is kind of a public space, people are involved with their ideas of what you would like - this one is just you in complete charge! So maybe after a nice lunch you take a different walk in a park, stop into a bookstore you wouldn’t normally go into, go to a favourite spot, read a book somewhere quiet. What ever it is, add a little more to an already lovely day. Sure you still have to do some life stuff – but it isn’t your birthday so you're not as frustrated by life stuff…because this is your secret day that you are just squishing some really good fun into.

And my last rule of thumb?
Sure I gave you permission for one fake birthday, but once you get a feel for them maybe you’ll let yourself have a couple of fake birthdays a year. The best thing is these ones don’t age you! They probably even make you stay a little younger, because they allow you to leave the guilt packed away for doing something you enjoy.

I know right!

So this month take a fake birthday – even if it's your real birthday - to help top up that well of yours.

This is just between you and me, yes?

CX