Ramblings from the House of Pox!

Ok to say I am an absent blogger would be an under statement. I have been so lapse with keeping this up along with my laundry, personal filing, exercise regime, healthy eating notions and a whole ream of other items on my "to do" list. I am currently trying to figure out which items on my "to do" list are in fact "to shoulds" and if so which are "good shoulds" (would they make me happy - I should take myself to the spa more, I should spend more time in my studio) or are they really "other people tell me I should" (all those guilt driven items that make me cringe when I see them). I don't think I will really up date you from where we left off as life has pretty much been predictable with new baby, 4 year old issues and daily life commitments. We were however supposed to be on a plane today with the whole family to embark on the big "Poppy Tour" so that family and friends of both my husband (Ontario) and myself (England) could meet our new bundle. That trip has now been cancelled due to the poor Noisy Boy contracting Chicken Pox (despite immunization). I was disappointed to say the least and heartbroken when breaking it to the Grandmas And friends - but today - I have to say I am more reflecting on the words of Mike Jaggar when he said "I can't get no...satisfaction"...ha ha, no ..when he says "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime..you might find..you get what you need". What I have needed since Poppy was born was calm, peace and space for our family. What I created for myself was stress, busyness, more stress, exhaustion and various forms of mild sickness. Life with 2 kids is busy - it is rather inevitable - life with 2 kids and a self-employed husband whose busy period is April - Dec gets somewhat stressful, life with 2 kids, self-employed husband and a limited company year end gets even more interesting and then add in a house on the market / viewings, a small craft business, Christmas, a need for social interaction and you end up with a life that feels a little like some high speed car careering into a wall. I have never enjoyed "busy" - I know some do, but I like steady - I like to start and finish one task before I move onto the next. When I see a job that says the applicant must enjoy tight deadlines and multi-tasking I run a mile. When I worked in a little Deli before I had Jack I remember a woman asking me abt how I had moved here etc and then she gave me a big nodding smile and said "and are you busy?" as if being busy was the goal I should have, a definition of happiness. So here I am today on my fifth day of quarantine with the boy, the girl, my husband and a lot of time, space and peace. Maybe I had planned a wonderful trip rushing around with the kids to see everyone and do everything we could in a month - maybe that had been what I really wanted, but maybe the fact that we haven't really stopped and spent much quality time together, alone since Poppy was born - means that a good bout of contagious chicken pox was what we needed. It is funny when I look back on rather momentous occasions or decisions in my life - many of them do come from a very easygoing process. They are not the decisions that I worried over and fiddled with endlessly. I decided to travel to Australia after watching a documentary one day and there had a fabulous time and met my future husband. I agreed to marry my husband after one month of distance dating. We moved to BC from Ontario after a quick phone call to my husband at his work - "we should move to BC" I said - after a slight pause he said "Ok". We bought this house (after viewing what felt like hundreds of homes) the first day we saw it - in a town we knew nothing abt, I wrote "I love it" on the details within a second of being inside and my husband has built his whole business around answering an ad "gutter cleaner wanted" 7 years ago. The list feels endless when I mull it over (I have the time these days) and it makes me smile, it makes me realise that life doesn't always need to be this frantic, forcing of worries and decisions - sometimes life has a way of opening paths for you without you even knowing. I guess the trick is to try and quieten down the day just a little, if you can, just to check and see where some paths maybe opening up for you. We will get to see everyone we need to later this year - I am sure - "we will re-build" as they say, it just won't be the plan we had in mind. We will just try and enjoy this quiet period of time together, focus on getting the boy (and maybe the girl) well and enjoy the sweet little packages that arrive on our doorsteps from our dear friends here!

My Dad.

As father's day approaches I have been thinking about my dad. I sadly don't have many pictures to show you of my dad .... but as an avid fan of Downton Abbey, I think of my dad everytime I see Mr Bates. My dad was very kind hearted but sadly not strong hearted and died of a sudden heart attack at the young age of 49. I was seventeen and it broke my heart. To anyone out there who has maybe lost their dad recently I would love to tell you that it hurts less as time goes on - sadly it has been 22 years since I lost mine and I am crying while writing this. It doesn't hurt less as such - but you will have more and more days / months as time goes on where it isn't on your mind - you will be able to remember the good times as well as the hurt and you will be able to love them just the same as if they are still on this earth. My dad was not a noisy boy - just the opposite in fact if you would've met him socially, but the time I think of my dad the most is when I am in my studio (as well as when I am watching Downton!) My dad is the one who taught and encouraged me to draw. My dad was the one who would come home from work with books on drawing from thrift stores, fancy pastels he had seen, different pencils, paints and paper on a whim. It was my dad (a technical drawer) who let me play in his office (the garden shed) with his fine pen inks, his stencils, his measuring and shaping rulers. It was my dad who told me what he liked and what he didn't like about my art projects - it was my dad who let me storm out the room, slam the door in frustration at a criticism and then let me back in the room when I was ready to discuss and improve it. It was my dad who made me laugh out loud and it was my dad who made me smile inside when I made him laugh out loud. It was my dad who drove me absolutely EVERYWHERE and would pick me up late when he would rather have been in bed. It was my dad who tested me on fractions when we were in queues on holiday, my dad who kept quiet while I tried out different 80's fashions, my dad who read the board game instructions so fast we never understood a word, my dad who let me dry his hair on a Sunday night..it was my dad who spent a whole day cooking a Chinese meal for me and my friends on a birthday, my dad who fried us chips as a secret treat when mum was away..and most importantly it was my dad who showed me how wonderful husbands and dads can be. To my dad I say thank you - I miss you - but I am lucky to have married a man as lovely, hard working and as funny as you - who sadly loves bacon as much as you! Happy Father's Day.

A not so noisy girl!

Poppy Ellen Storie was born April 7th. She arrived a little earlier than expected and a lot faster than anticipated - but all in all a great birth. The midwives called it beautiful - I'm not quite so convinced of that - more messy, suddenly painful and rather primal for a reserved British Lass - but no lasting damage to my knowledge and a beautiful little girl at the end! The little noisy boy is prooving to be an amazing big brother - with kisses, songs and gentle hugs. Now I just need him to stop jumping on the sofa during the feeds or trying to get her attention with drums and noise makers. I have been a good girl this time round and have stayed at home, rested wherever possible and not tried to dash about too much. Poppy has repaid me by sleeping and "hanging out" - with just a small, occasional fuss. After having a poor baby with colic for the first 10 months of his life - I am taking nothing for granted and can be found clutching random pieces of wood when telling people abt my experience this time round of having a baby. She really has been more "text book" so far than my poor first child. She can be soothed by the routine things when my first child always seemed so inconsolable. Please, please let this stay. To anyone out there currently coping with a colicky child - I am thinking of you! I still have vivid memories of the insanity and the utter feeling of failure as a mum (non of which of course is true). Any advice I would give for a child who seems so unhappy is to stop reading or listening to other people's advice - it probably won't work - they don't know your child like you do and there really isn't a magic cure no matter how hard you search. I am sorry to be the bearer of this bad news, but I found once I accepted the situation and stopped asking people for advice, manically reading all the books or wondering exactly where I was going wrong - I actually felt better. Baby Salsa, Stroller Fit, Mummy competitive coffee visits and all the other nonsense we think we should be doing first time round all went on hold while I rested and slept whenever the crying subsided. Instead of blaming yourself be nice to yourself - you are doing an amazing job dealing with a poor fussy baby and they WILL grow out of it to show you the wonderful human being they were trying to be all along - I promise!