February - is all about the space

A need
to breathe,
to think,
to grieve,
and then
to understand.

One of my favourite past times growing up was to sit on my window ledge and look. I suppose I was looking out and looking in – weird kid I know! It is pretty hard to explain to your kid friends too “Sorry, I can’t come out and play because I am looking out my window.” Funny, because now as a “proper” grown up it is still hard to explain to family, friends or life stuff. I have yet to post a Facebook status that reads, Caroline is “sitting and staring”, but sometimes that is exactly what I need.

The words overwhelmed and introverted had not been introduced to me when I was perched there, cozy on my window ledge. Now I have a clearer understanding of what I was doing. I was powering down and catching up on some overdue brain filing. I was basically doing exactly what I needed, to be able to do all the stuff young people need to do. Grown up Caz, doesn’t have quite the same space in her life to do this though and when left too long gets brain fry.

So this month I am looking to prioritize the art of standby, without explanation or guilt. When the time presents itself, I will take it. I will take the space to complete a…thought. The space to be still with the durge in my head. The time to just look outside, without listing my to do’s.

I no longer have a deep window ledge to perch, but I do have a kitchen table that stands just below the garden window. Certain times are quiet at this table; these are the moments I can grab. There are too many circular thoughts that need to be processed and then filed away. The brain has got cluttered and chaotic. Its storage is full which leaves no space for new or exciting ideas.

I am giving myself the space this February month, to process it all. Do you have a look spot too?

January - is all about the rest...

First is
permission
for slumber
and rest.
I am tired
so tired
need time
to refresh.


Whenever I find myself escaping the world (or barking at it), it dawns on me rather late in the day how damn tired I am. Binge watching tv and late nights, persistently poor sleep, busy / hectic days and just a general malaise of my day to day routine are all contributors for me. When we make a conscious effort to take some time off from the race it can be quite the revelation of where and how we are being drained. We all have stuff we need to get done in our lives, that is reality, but those “must” things can get wrapped in a whole lot of drama, worry and frazzle that can be self-induced. Taking some time out to heal from this and be aware of our role in these fatigue feeders can be quite an eye opener.

So our first goal for the year is rest. Admit that we are tired and take the time to recuperate. The “I really should’s” of the day can take a little step back. Rest for you may be as easy as going to bed early, decreasing your caffeine and cancelling an engagement, but I’ll bet it isn’t really as simple as that. A lot of tiredness for me comes from inside my head as well as tiredness in my body.

Imagine taking a rest from the chatter both in life and online, a break from the repetitive stories we keep telling ourselves to understand experiences. Wouldn't it be nice to silence that nagging voice that tells you, you should be doing more, or should be more? If we could take a more mental rest, what space would we have left for more positive flows of energy?

If this starts working for you, build on those energies, save them rather than jumping into stuff too soon. There is plenty of time. If you do have to nag yourself then nag yourself to be a little kinder to yourself, to do a little less and then to do a little less, more. If you catch yourself with a repetitive anxiety or anger – try to let it through you rather than holding onto to it and giving it more energy than you have right now. I don’t think this is going to be easy, making it all the more necessary. How hard is it for you to rest or relax without flitting to something else, or feeling the guilt or sensing a panic set it? I think it will be hard, but I think it will be very interesting too. We are going to get a true awareness of where our time and our energy go in just a few weeks, which gives us the power to control it in the future.

Feeling uncomfortable already with the idea? I know me too, we know ourselves too well hey! We don’t have to be perfect with it – we aren’t going to change over night with our running arounds or our monkey brains, but if we do try to be aware then the change will come. I’m quite sure of it. GOOD LUCK everyone, go forth and enjoy some happy ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ’s and feet up, chill times this month of January. I give you absolute permission!

An Introduction

Hello and welcome to my 2018 project “Journeying out from under the covers…when your world is large and loud.”

Every month I will go through a page of our book or calendar and write a little blurb about it. Although I created this project with my own ideas of what I needed to face a noisy world – I hope some of it will resonate for you too.

The simplicity of the words I have found helpful to use, almost as a mantra, when I find myself in those situations where the theme seems to fit. I used that darn fear one over and over as I lay in the dentist chair waiting for a tooth extraction and am quite sure I will use it again!
I find the words for support hold me up when I miss people and it helps me to focus and remember all those people who support me now or have been my guide.

Each page offers another layer of understanding & support that we can build upon.
As I hide under my duvet, each thought can bring out a toe, a foot, a leg.
Bit by bit we surface.
There is surviving in the world and there is thriving.
My hope is that by December our arms will be outstretched to the landscape with nothing but gratitude for all that has been. This is our completion. We come now with our own knowledge, strength, awareness and a stronger sense of self so the world can't deafen us again.

Thank you so much for visiting, reading, enjoying and venturing on your own journey out from under those covers.
This project is there for you as and when you need! See you on Jan 1st 2018.