May - is all about the emotions arghhhhh!

Welcome May!
Funny how as the weather gets lighter my theme gets a little heavier.
I will try not to make it too heavy I promise!
This is a theme with a lot of layers too, when you start to delve in.
It can be VERY personal in it’s meaning and relevance to you, just as it is to me.
So I don’t want to get too bogged down either – hmmm let’s see how I do!

On first glance we are taking a sidestep from where we were heading with our personal projects. We are moving from a practical headspace to the emotional.
I guess we had to go there at some point.
When we embark on something that is important to us – the emotional is always going to be involved somehow.
The question is how are we going to handle it?

My creative journey started from an emotional space.
It was me feeling down that made me grab the idea of bringing creativity to my life almost by my teeth. If I hadn’t been so low I don’t think I would ever has seen it as important because I wouldn’t have needed it so badly.
Finding this way of joy helped to lift me and anchored me better to my day to day.
I guess you could say (though I loathe to do so) it gave me purpose.

When we embark on this kind of journey we are never doing it in isolation.
We have day-to-day necessities and we have people who surround and love us.
The role of creativity is not to distance us from this but to be woven into the fabric of our life as it stands now.
With my situation it can be no other way.
It is unreasonable to expect life’s needs to stop needing us – this is a fact.
We always need to go as much to where life needs us as where our creativity leads. As a mother and a citizen there can be no other way for me and I never expect it to be. My journey walks hand in hand with this and sometimes the universe will give me more time with my work and sometimes work will slow a little to give time for more pressing needs. As frustrating as it may be sometimes, if I want to stay sane and kind this is a truth I have to accept.

That said (and this is where it gets interesting) – I am also a terrible fixer of things and have a strong need to know, that oversteps the boundaries of how involved in peoples lives I need to be. This is something that I have needed to check myself against. This is not something that other people put on me – this is something I put upon myself. I feel like I can tell immediately when something is not right for someone – I can feel it or see it in a glance. I thought this was a gift of mine, but as I grow older I wonder if I am not really using this as wisely as I could.

Because I didn’t have something strong to ground me in my own life I tended to be swept by other peoples emotions very easily. I thought in some way I was helping, but I am beginning to see that the person I was helping was me, in the distraction from my own stuff.

I am really happy to be there for someone – I see myself as a crap cook or practical person (I am always so stunned by people who do the really helpful stuff when people are struggling) – but the one thing I can do is listen and try to understand. This is something that I want to do, especially if it can even help. It helps me to feel closer to people and I am better with the big stuff than I am the small chat.

My mistake though is that when I leave, I seem to take a person’s feeling or situation onto myself and will let this live inside my head and my body well after the conversation has finished. This is my and only my issue. This is not what my friend has asked or expected of me and this is where my responsibility fails them. It is not my place to hold someone else’s private and highly personal feelings. People have shared themselves with me to create space to figure things out and they have trusted me with this. They do not need me adding to their problems by thinking that I am now leaving with their emotions and their hurt and burying them inside myelf. This is not helping them one bit and I am just figuring this out!

Thinking of it in this way has helped me hugely in allowing myself to still be there for my friends and my family without taking their experiences for myself. This lets me be a much better listener, supporter and leaves me with the energy I need to figure out my own stuff and to get on with my own work. My work has given me the anchor I need to know where I fit in the world and allowed me to be a much better support than coming apart when someone is suffering. SO I still can’t bring good lasagna or help with the cleaning, but I can be there for you and this time I have the perfect energy to be there appropriately. I have learned that your experiences are just that, yours, just as it should be and I can now walk with you through them as I have a much stronger footing than I used to and I have my work to anchor my own feelings so I won’t get swept out. You are good and I am good!

What sweeps you out to sea in your life?
How can you use your project to anchor you better?
Are you emotionally drained and is there anyway you can better protect that?

These are just some questions you might like to ask yourself if you feel that you are lacking in energy for the project that you love doing. It can make more space for you, your friends and family and your work.

If you are embarking on a project that is important to you, you will find yourself attracted and pulled towards people who are doing similar things, have similar loves or are treading on a similar path to you. This is the great stuff! This is the place where you finally feel you are finding your people, your way and your direction from the fog. One thing that I want us to keep in mind though is that everyone is doing this at their own pace. Everyone has different circumstances surrounding them that will affect the speed with which they travel and develop and that's ok! That's ok as long as we remember this. I had to make this little saying as it is so important for me to keep in mind when I see myself sliding down the slippery slopes of comparison. I have neither the energy, staying power or surrounding circumstances that allow for me to do any more than I am currently doing - i am working as hard as I can, given all I have and where I am today. That makes me feel sooooo much better!

April - is all about the peeps

Ahhh welcome April, welcome.
This sun is shining here and everything feels just a little bit lighter, a little bit happier, and a little more skip in the step. This should help us with our next stage, as I am going to push us a little harder now. The time has come to bring our ideas out into the world, at least just a little. If you are still in the really early stages of the creative process then I would say hold off on this. Imagine your work as a baby bird in your hands, even a soft release in the world would end badly. Your work is too vulnerable at the mo - too in need of nurture. Let your bird gain more strength, more mobility, more feathers first. Then it will be ready to flutter. If, however, you have been making great strides with this process, then you are ready for support, accountability and sharing. This will help you stay on track as you progress through the year, where your initial thrill may wane and the inevitable bumps in the road come up.

Now remember I said a "soft release" of our ideas into the wild.
This isn't the time to throw ourselves to the lions, but this is the time to bring together a select number of people who are like minded, light hearted and safe speaking.

A few months after I started my pictures I knew I was looking for people who were creative too.
I wanted to be part of something that reflected my interests.
I wanted somewhere I could talk about what I was working on without feeling stupid and I needed something to make it feel real and important.

I managed to club together 4 people that I knew from different avenues of my life.
Our first meeting was at the little blue house with coffee, cake and wonderful conversations about our different creativities. We realized from that first chat that we enjoyed talking about our projects, our dreams and the issues we were facing.
These were conversations that we didn't have with our families or friends and to give ourselves that special time really helped us to focus on what we were looking for. For me it made my little pictures (that were in very early stages) a reality and a possibility for more. We decided to meet every other week and have been doing so for what is now our 5th year. We are currently 8 members, including those original 4! We have seen a lot of change for everyone over this time - people will go through tough months and great months in their creative progress. We see life's interruptions as pulls of time and changes of focus come in waves for all members. People who have to leave can always come back when they are ready and there is a true solidarity between us all. I have never been a "joiner", but this group of people has been a real anchor for me.

I would love for you to go out now and make your own little group of people.
If it helps here are a few tips I would keep in mind when you begin your creative mate hunt.

Be brave!
People really want this - creative pursuits are very isolating - there is a need for connection and people are usually, very receptive to the idea.

Be Sensible
If you have someone in mind, but you know that they can be difficult, they are not going to be good for the group.
Keep the idea of safe, kind and easy going as a guide.
You don't need drama in this area of your life.

Be Simple
We keep our meetings to a really simple format.
There is not a great deal of prep work that anyone has to do just for the meeting.
It is open enough to be all about their own goal.
Our format has worked for a long time and I think it is it's simplicity that kept it going so long.
We go around the room and each person talks about what their last 2 weeks have been like for their creative pursuit and then we go around again and list our goals. There typically arises a theme that also becomes a general discussion in there.

Be aware
Your group is going to go through changes.
Be aware and open to these as it will keep the energy going.
We are trying some new things out this year as we needed a little more accountability and are also going into more detail about some common hurdles (a focus meeting on social media for example).
We are starting to do regular format for one week and then a topic discussion or focus the next one.
This has really engaged us all I think and made us more committed to our creative pursuits.
So when change is necessary be aware and open to it.

Be Accountable
Accountability is the big take away from these meetings.
You are going to find that with each little step you take (ummm complete Bobby Brown steal and now in my head), you will be making progress that would be hard (read impossible for me) to make if you were doing this alone.

Be a cheerleader
No matter the size of your group, you will all celebrate everyones wins.
Other peoples wins are inspiring for your own development.

Be a Supporter
You can share each others work, go to events other members are involved in, purchase products or simply listen attentively when things get hard for other members. This is never your competition - this is your safety net.
Being an active supporter and participant will make your group the success I know it can be.


Are you ready to find some friends?
Do you have people in mind already?
Don't be shy - they will honestly love the idea.
I am excited for you and your new gang.
You will be amazed at what you all can achieve - I promise!

CX